My son, the big deal.

It’s official, my son is kind of a big deal. Check it out. I was going through the mail, looking for the TMNT wallet I ordered online, and look what I found. A letter from the President! That’s right folks, Barack Obama wrote a personal letter to my son welcoming him to the world. You can tell it was written by Obama himself because it’s a little long winded.

This is pretty exciting. I can’t imagine the President has enough time to do this for every child that is born. Chandler must have been selected for this prestigious honor on account of what an advanced baby he is. He was born 5 months ago and the letter just arrived today, so I assume the President was using the CIA, FBI, and CTU to vet Chandler to make sure he is indeed worthy of the President’s official praise.

The results they found during the vetting process must have been astounding. For a child to be developing at such a progressive rate when he is the son of a ‘man’ who can be officially categorized as a “doofus” is quite incredible. I’m sure they spent some time looking into Ashley and I to see if Chandler was born naturally or was somehow the result of a science experiment involving a secret military unit consisting of super human mutants.

I want to take a moment to apologize to all the other babies that didn’t make the cut. It’s possible that someday you’ll be able to exceed your own potential and earn the attention of the President, but right now it’s not looking good for you. In the meantime you can cry to your mommy about it.

UPDATE: As I finished this post and read it to my wife, she informed me that we received the letter because she sent in a request for it. Apparently any Joe Schmoe can get one of these letters if you’ve got a 44 cent stamp.