Important Update

After watching (and being apart of) my last video, The Basketball Diaperies, Chandler has now started throwing the soccer ball around and saying, “Get that noise out here!”

Another victory in parenting.

On the set with Chandler

I haven’t been writing a ton lately, mainly because I’ve been focusing my efforts on filming videos. I’ve started what I hope is just the beginning of a long series of videos that involve Chandler and I engaging in various activities together. Last week I released a video of Chandler and I playing Legos and next week I’ll be posting a video in which I teach Chandler the finer points of Basketball.

It has been a lot of fun making these videos. I’ve enjoyed getting back to the medium of film, which was my primary focus in college. At one point I had dreams of being a video editor. The process of editing the footage that Chandler and I create is truly a joy. 

Filming the videos has also been a lot of fun. Chandler is quite the little ham. After seeing a video of me imitating things that he says, he gets really excited when I ask him if he wants to make a funny video with me. 

But working with a 2-year-old can be a real delicate process. Today, before we started filming, I told Chandler, “We’re going to make a funny video. Now, I’m going to pretend to be mean, okay? But I’m not mean. And I love you.” He gave me his verbal consent, but there were times throughout the shoot that I had to remind him that we were just playing.

Every good director has a vision for their film, but when you’re filming with a 2-year-old, that vision has to be a little more fluid. For some reason Chandler just didn’t seem to care when I told I had “just three more shots I want to get.” He was ready to play trains, and there was nothing I could do about it.

These video projects have been a lot of fun, and I hope they can be something that Chandler and I do together for years to come. I look forward to the day that he is the one doing the directing and I am playing small bit parts in his funny videos.

An honorable mention needs to go to my wife, who not only allows me to use her only child as a stooge in my silly videos, but also handles the camera for me and is a masterful videographer.

Chandler’s growing vocabulary

Recently Chandler has transitioned from a grunting neanderthal baby to a nattering chatter box. The other day I walked into his room to get him up after his nap, and I thought I had walked onto the set of the View.

It is so much fun to hear him come up with all sorts of new words and phrases and watch as he experiments with his new found communication skills. About a month ago he had begun asking “What’s that?” It was great for him to be able to communicate with us and ask us for more information about the world around him. But we didn’t always know what he was specifically asking about. Then he transitioned to “What is that NOISE?” or “What is that THING?”

Some of his new phrases are ones we have taught him, like, “Thank you, Mommy” or “Wrong again, Daddy.” But other ones seem to come out of nowhere. For instance, when Mommy told him it was snowing, Chandler said, “That’s exciting.” WHAAA? 

Maybe my favorite so far is “that’s funny.” We were watching a video I made (you’ll see it later) and he was laughing and then out of nowhere he said, “That’s funny.” I just about melted. He now knows I LOVE hearing him say that, and so he says it to me all the time. Does life get any better?

A lot of people like to say things like, “As soon as they can talk, they can talk back.” I really hate that mentality. I don’t know, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, or I just like a good challenge. Since Chandler was born I’ve been teaching him how to make my life more difficult. I eagerly encouraged him to learn to crawl and walk. I showed him how to open doors. I challenged him to climb out of his crib. I showed him how to whittle shivs out of wooden train track pieces.

So what if talking could open the floodgates to back-talk? I love a good debate. But oh, wait…maybe I’ll just raise my child to be disciplined and to never talk back. (All the experienced parents know that was a joke…whether I meant for it to be or not)

Cool

Chandler: Mommy, what are you doing on the phone?

Ashley: I’m making dinner reservations for Chinese for Sat night.

Chandler: Oh. That’s cool!

Grandma: Chandler, you’re cool!

Chandler: No. Papa’s cool!

Never again (except for every day from now on)

This morning I made a break from my normal routine of leaving the house at an ungodly hour and instead got to greet Chandler as he woke up. It was fun to see him, but then as I told him I had to go to work, he took my hand and said, “No Daddy, stay.”

Little jerk.

How am I supposed to leave after that? This was especially endearing because it came from the kid who usually gives me an elbow to the jugular when I lean in for a hug. 

I was pretty close to calling in sick. “Yeah…looks like I’ll be sick for the next few years. Yeah, just until my son stops being so darned cute. Thanks for understanding.”

Things Chandler did today that made my jaw drop

I don’t want this blog to turn into brag blog (or a brlaog…as the kids are calling them these days) but recently Chandler has been blowing my mind. He’s at a stage where every other thing he does makes me go

After posting this short list I’ll go back to writing about my struggles as a father.

First of all, just the other day, almost over night, Chandler went from barely being able to put two words together to being able to give George W Bush a run for his money in a debate (let’s not make this political. Republican or not, you have to admit that guy doesn’t talk so good). So Chandler’s newfound speaking skills have been knocking my socks off. 

Things he said or did today:

1. I asked Chandler to clean up the three puzzles he had spilled to the ground before playing with another toy. Not only did he say, “Okay,” he put every piece back in each puzzle and then stacked all three puzzles back on the shelf where he got them. He then proceeded to play with the next toy.

2. After spotting a Kermit the Frog lunch box in a store, he asked, “Take it home?” I told him we couldn’t take it home and he said, “I’ll buy it.” WHAT? Where did he learn that? And wait…does he have a job? Is he holding out on us?

3. After dinner at Fuddruckers (swanky!) we were getting back into the car and out of the blue, without being prompted at all, Chandler says, “Thank you for dinner, Mommy.” 

The Daddy Complex: Hug It Out

I don’t do a lot of reblogging here on Improvising Fatherhood, but this is so good I have to share it with you. David Vienna, author of The Daddy Complex, wrote about the power of hugs, and I know exactly how he feels.

thedaddycomplex:

If you’ll allow me to be completely honest, I wasn’t one of those people who thought a hug could make anyone feel better. I know it didn’t work for me. When I was in college, my bike got stolen and I was pretty upset. My girlfriend gave me a hug to cheer me up. But after the hug, my bike was still fucking gone. So, my mood didn’t change. (It’s a wonder we didn’t last.)

Apply that same equation to any and all times someone tried to cheer me up with a hug. I mean, sure, I like hugs. They feel good and stuff and are a fairly solid way to express affection, but I never really thought they had magical healing powers or anything… until I had kids.

Last night, I wasn’t feeling great and Wyatt was being a bit bossy. I didn’t have the energy to go toe-to-toe with him. When I told him it was time to put jammies on, he yelled, “No!” and danced away. I just sat there rubbing my temples. He returned and asked, “Are you sad, Papa?”

“Yes,” I said.

He asked, “Would a hug cheer you up?”

Again, I said, “Yes.”

He wrapped his arms around my neck and squeezed me tight, adding a kiss on the cheek. And I’ll be damned if it didn’t cheer me right the hell up.

Not even an hour later, Wyatt got upset about something. He said, “How can you make me happy, Papa?”

I knew what he was fishing for. I said, “A hug,” offering something I’d defined as relatively useless just three years prior. He opened his arms wide and I gave him a big hug. He hopped into bed smiling. As I tucked him in, I asked, “Are you happy?”

He said, “Yes.” And I knew it was true because it was true for me, too.