Improvising Fatherhood

An Instance In Which Reading To Your Kids Sucks

I was feeling down yesterday and Wyatt asked me what was wrong. I said, “I’m a little sad.”

He asked, “Did you have a bad day?”

I said, “Yeah.”

Then, he gleefully said, “Sad, dad, bad, had. Dad is sad. Very, very sad. He had a bad day. What a day Dad had.”

Goddamn Dr. Seuss.

Holy cow that’s hilarious.

thedaddycomplex:

BOOM! Here’s an all new episode of Fighting with Babies, now in glorious HD.

It clocks in at about 90 seconds, so you have no excuse not to watch it.

David Vienna has weird looking kids.

Family Cirque

Sebastien Savard is a cockroach. A violin playing cockroach. And he is a father of two.

Sebastien has been performing with Cirque Du Soleil for 10 years and is currently touring with Ovo, Cirque’s most family friendly show which plunges you into a fantastic world full of high flying bugs. I was given the chance to meet Sebastien before the show and ask him some questions about what it’s like to be be a parent in the circus.

Sebastien, originally from Quebec, Canada, began touring with Cirque as a single man. While performing in Japan he met a lady who soon became his wife. His two children were born on tour and have lived their entire lives on the road. Sebastien is required to perform a minimum of 300 shows a year, but does closer to 500.

So how does he do it? “You have to develop a routine,” he says. Sebastien admits that keeping a routine for your kids can be tough when you are traveling, but he also says that it’s important to teach your kids to have a good attitude. He says he tells his kids “This is our life. It’s normal.”

The Ovo cast has around 25 kids traveling with them at the moment and most of them are between the ages of 4 and 8. A teacher travels with the circus and the children keep a fairly normal school routine. While the school isn’t a training ground for future Cirque performers, Sebastien admits that some trampoline and gymnastics are taught during PE class because, “that’s what we happen to have available.”

It might seem like constantly traveling and performing 500 shows a year would leave very little time for family. In actuality, Sebastien spends several hours a day rehearsing and preparing for the night’s show and the rest of his day is filled with family time right up until the show. Jealous? I know I am.

If you get a chance to catch Cirque Du Soleil’s performance of Ovo, I recommend it. I spent most of the show with my jaw in my lap out of sheer disbelief at what these performers could do. I couldn’t help but imagine my last business retreat when my coworkers attempted to build a human pyramid. The contrast is staggering. Ovo is a funny and charming show that will amaze both you and your kids. Just be careful, because when they get home they might be inspired to climb the furniture and do some acrobatics.

thedaddycomplex:

Amen, Frank Zappa. Amen. And nice cat.

(Related: In light of the Johnny Depp thing from last week, I’d like to point out that Frank Zappa is my dopplegänger.)

I can always see the frustration in Chandler’s eyes when I tell him to do something rather than tell him why I want him to do something, or when I forcibly pick him up and move him somewhere, rather than asking him to follow me.

Obviously there are times when I have to use the “because I said so” method. But I am really trying to always explain to Chandler why what I want him to do is actually something he should want to do too.

Sometimes this process helps me realize that doing things “my way” isn’t actually necessary at all. You’d think being married 7 years would have done that already.

The Daddy Complex: Hug It Out

I don’t do a lot of reblogging here on Improvising Fatherhood, but this is so good I have to share it with you. David Vienna, author of The Daddy Complex, wrote about the power of hugs, and I know exactly how he feels.

thedaddycomplex:

If you’ll allow me to be completely honest, I wasn’t one of those people who thought a hug could make anyone feel better. I know it didn’t work for me. When I was in college, my bike got stolen and I was pretty upset. My girlfriend gave me a hug to cheer me up. But after the hug, my bike was still fucking gone. So, my mood didn’t change. (It’s a wonder we didn’t last.)

Apply that same equation to any and all times someone tried to cheer me up with a hug. I mean, sure, I like hugs. They feel good and stuff and are a fairly solid way to express affection, but I never really thought they had magical healing powers or anything… until I had kids.

Last night, I wasn’t feeling great and Wyatt was being a bit bossy. I didn’t have the energy to go toe-to-toe with him. When I told him it was time to put jammies on, he yelled, “No!” and danced away. I just sat there rubbing my temples. He returned and asked, “Are you sad, Papa?”

“Yes,” I said.

He asked, “Would a hug cheer you up?”

Again, I said, “Yes.”

He wrapped his arms around my neck and squeezed me tight, adding a kiss on the cheek. And I’ll be damned if it didn’t cheer me right the hell up.

Not even an hour later, Wyatt got upset about something. He said, “How can you make me happy, Papa?”

I knew what he was fishing for. I said, “A hug,” offering something I’d defined as relatively useless just three years prior. He opened his arms wide and I gave him a big hug. He hopped into bed smiling. As I tucked him in, I asked, “Are you happy?”

He said, “Yes.” And I knew it was true because it was true for me, too.

Family

Smith Family Christmas Trip ‘09

A few months ago Chandler proved himself to be a good traveler by being a real champ while enduring 4 plane flights in just a few days. Now that he knows he can handle the mildly friendly skies (to be honest the skies could work on their manners a bit) Chandler is ready to take on a new challenge. And my family is always ready to throw down the guantlet.

It is Christmas vacation which means it is my dad’s time to do his best Clark Griswold impression, pack the whole family Into the car, and make an epic drive from St. Louis, Missouri to Juno Beach, Florida in under 19 hours. Non stop.

That might seem funny but it is not a joke. We do it every year. And when someone in the car complains about feeling claustrophobic or that their bladder is going to explode, my dad says in his best Clark Griswold voice, “it’s all apart of the experience.”

This year our family is a bit larger than normal. Usually it’s just the four of us. My dad, my mom, my sister, and myself. But now, both my sister and I both have spouses. And to top it all off, I have a 4 month old baby. My dad took one look at our mini-van and said, “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

So my parents have rented a 15 passenger van for this year’s voyage. Again, I’m not kidding. So for the next 19 hours I’ll be in a 15 passenger van with my parents, my sister and her husband, and my wife and our baby.

I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but it is the law that babies have to be in a car seat any time the vehicle is in motion. Our vehicle will be in motion for 19 hours. Straight.

It’s times like these that I am glad I am a comedian. Because I can look at this experience and think to myself, “Well at least I’m going to have a lot to write about.” I’ll be live-blogging the entire trip. So stay tuned for updates on our adventure.

Have a crazy travel story with your child or family? Share it with us in the comments.