A while back Chandler sent a letter to PepsiCo offering my services as a spokesperson and pleading with them to give me a lifetime supply of Mt. Dew. His letter was very well thought out and I thought he showed great initiative in his efforts.
Well the people at Pepsi have finally responded to his letter and as it turns out…they are heartless. They’ve decided that rather than help an entrepreneurial spirit grow inside my son they should crush him and teach him that life is full of rejection. Here’s the letter.
Well thanks a lot Pepsi! Now my son is jaded! He’s lost his will to live. He just crawls around the house drooling on stuff. He doesn’t want to eat anything except breast milk. He has trouble sleeping at night….he’s just not himself anymore.
Wait…that’s exactly what he was like before. BUT now my child will never go to college. Because if you won’t pay for my son’s college tuition after he so nicely asked you to, then just to spite you I won’t pay for it either. You know what I’m going to do instead? When he graduates from high school, I’m going to send him to 4 years of Space Camp. Yeah, that’s right. Makes no sense! Take THAT Pepsi! You want extreme! I’ll show you extreme! Extremely odd!
Well Pepsi, even with how upset Chandler and I are right now, we are willing to keep our offer open to you. Whenever you’re ready to accept your fate, give us a holla’. You know how to reach us.
Recently I wrote about how my daddy is drinking away my college fund. Now, it’s not what you think. My dad is not a lush. He’s just huge fan of the sweet taste of Mt. Dew. If people had Mt. Dew running through their veins instead of blood, my dad would be a Vampire.
Well, I have mailed my letter to PepsiCo and am eagerly awaiting their response. But one letter alone might not do the trick. We need to make a splash and really grab Pepsi’s attention. So I am starting a petition. Right here in the comments section of this post, state your name and your support for my cause. We have to make this thing go viral and become an internet sensation. We have to show Mt. Dew how “extreme” the IF followers are.
Now, if you want to take it to another level and really help me get Pepsi’s attention, you can download the same letter I sent to them and mail it in yourself. Tricia Lynch is apparently in charge of handling these sorts of requests. Tricia might be able to ignore one of these letters landing on her desk. But what if she received 200 of them?
So come on! Get on board, sign your name in the petition, and send a letter to PepsiCo. Think of it this way: If my dad gets a lifetime supply of Mt. Dew, not only will he be able to afford to pay for my college, but he’ll be hosting Mt. Dew parties every weekend!
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE LETTER and send it to the following address.
Tricia Lynch
PepsiCo
700 Anderson Hill Road
Purchase, NY 10577
UPDATE:
Thank you Heidi for being the first to sign and for sending in the letter!
Yes! 2 more signatures. Come on people! Keep them coming!
