Nate Smith is an improvisational comedian, a husband, and a father. He's not sure which is hardest.
Learn more about Nate Smith at bestnatesmithever.com
Ever since Chandler was old enough to talk, his name for me has been “E”. As far as we could ever tell the name was derived from “DaddEEE.” I’ve always really liked it. It’s feels cool to have a special name. It gives the name more meaning.
Just the other day we noticed that Chandler wasn’t calling me E anymore. This is most likely because he is talking more and more clearly and “daddy” isn’t as hard to say anymore. When this realization set in I was pretty sad. No more cool nickname.
The truth is, his new version of “Daddy” is so cute, I don’t really mind not being called E anymore. I especially like his “NO Daddy!” which is usually caused by me tackling him or tickling him. Chandler is in that stage where “No” is his go to answer. This would be more annoying if it wasn’t so cute.
So anyway, my days of being E are over. But I’m hoping to transition into being called Batman. Fingers crossed.
If you’re a long time follower of Improvising Fatherhood, you’ll recognize these giraffes. The giraffe on the left has been Chandler’s favorite stuffed animal all his life. And as you can see, when compared to the brand new one on the right, his giraffe has been well loved and taken everywhere.
Ashley has wanted to swap out the original giraffe for the new one for quite some time now. I have been against this idea from the start. If you ask me, that giraffe isn’t dirty. It’s experienced. It’s not covered in filth. It’s covered in memories.
Nevertheless, I supported my wife’s decision. Also, Chandler threw up on the giraffe today. We asked Chandler if he’d like it if giraffe took a bath and came back all clean. Chandler said yes and giraffe was whisked away. Moments later a sparking clean giraffe returned.
Chandler’s expression was very telling.
Mom - “Chandler, aren’t you happy to see YOUR giraffe all clean now?”
Chandler - “Leon’s giraffe.”
Leon is Chandler’s friend who has the exact same giraffe, except his never leaves the room and looks brand new.
Mom - “No, this is Chandler’s giraffe. I gave him a bath and he’s all clean now!”
Chandler - “Nope.”
Later, as Ashley was putting Chandler to bed, he began throwing the giraffe across the room.
Ashley - “Chandler, do you want dirty giraffe back?”
Chandler - “Yes, ask daddy.”
He then went to the top of the stairs and called out to me, “DADDY! Dirty giraffe back!”
And so, Chandler is now peacefully cuddling up to his experience-riddled giraffe covered in his own memories.
This is a video of Chandler playing with a hover craft toy we got last Christmas. You turn it on and it floats in the air and then descends until it senses something below it, like your hand or the floor.
I love this video because Chandler used to be terrified of this toy. We’d turn it on and he would BOLT to the other side of the room. But he was fascinated with it and would watch it, and me playing with it, intently. He would demand “MORE PLEASE” when it ran out of battery and needed to charge.
Still, he would never go near it.
We just recently got it back out of the closet, and apparently Chandler has conquered his fears. This is one of my favorite parts of fatherhood. Watching my son overcome his fears.
One of the biggest lessons my father taught me was that it was okay to be afraid, but never okay to let fear control your actions. I don’t know if it is something that he repeatedly impressed upon me or simply told me once, but that lesson has always stuck with me.
Chandler is very honest about what scares him. He’ll often tell us, “Chandler scared.” We watched a show the other day and he got real close to me and told me he was scared. But that didn’t mean he didn’t want to watch the show. In fact, he was upset when it was over.
I love Chandler’s willingness to overcome his fears. And that’s why I love this video.
Chandler has started telling himself no. He just picked up his empty Pez dispenser and said in a made up voice, “No candy. No candy Chandler” and then put it back down.
One of the great things Improvising Fatherhood has done for me is given my father and I a lot to talk about. My parents live in the Midwest and I live on the West coast, and IF helps them stay connected to their grandson as he grows up. But IF is also keeping me more connected to my father, which is a really nice bonus.
Here is what my dad had to say about a recent post. I’ve added a few notes to give context to his comments:
Thanks for the kind words. I truly hope that you have a decisive moment with Chandler, like the one I had with you, when you were about 7, at the McDonald’s in Laurence, Kansas, standing in line with 10 other boys from Grand Slam Camp (a baseball camp run by my father’s indoor batting cage business) who were twice your age, and who had recently had their tails kicked by you in Eliminator (a ground ball fielding contest).
“Dad (in a whispered tone), what should I order?” “Same as always. Jimmy, don’t touch him there.” (apparently Jimmy, one of the other kids, was touchy) “But Dad, what should I get? “ “WHAT! Just order a Happy M….(suddenly realizing your predicament), Okay, when it’s your turn to order (now I’m whispering) get 2 cheeseburgers, french fries, and a coke.”
It was your first regular meal at McDonald’s, and given the group you were with, it was obviously your only choice. Say goodbye to the Hamburgler toy inside the Happy Meal and hello to saving face with the big boys. And I thank God that I finally understood the REAL meaning of, “Dad, what should I order?”
I remember this moment very well. I don’t remember Jimmy touching the other kids, but I remember getting out of the van and walking in with all the big kids. I had ALWAYS had Happy Meals. But I couldn’t get a Happy Meal today. That would make me look like a baby. And, as my Dad pointed out, I had just whooped all these older boys in a baseball competition. I had earned their respect. A Happy Meal would just have taken me back to square one.
I remember being very grateful for my Dad’s understanding in this situation. And I remember being pissed because the Happy Meal toy was REALLY cool that day.
Recently I wrote about the joys of traveling without Chandler. Getting in and out of the airport felt like an absolute breeze. Meals were relaxing. Sleep was restful.
This weekend my wife and I went out of town for the weekend to attend a friend’s wedding. We left Chandler at home with the Grandparents. Here are the worst things about traveling without your child.
1. Where are the wet wipes when you need them? Wet Wipes have become an essential part of our life and are a cure-all for any messy problems. Without a child around, there’s no need to carry Wet Wipes with you, but this weekend we had several occasions where it would have been nice to have a pack of Wet Wipes handy.
2. You mean…I have to talk to these people? At the wedding there were a lot of really interesting people who I had absolutely no interest in meeting. It’s not that I don’t want to know who they are, it’s that I am extremely bad at conversation. My wife is amazing at it. She asks really inquisitive questions and always seems so interested in their world. But without her around I’m dead in the water. Thanks to Chandler, I usually have a great excuse to be pulled away from the adult table. After all, look at me, running around with my kid…I’m such a good father, right? Thanks, now leave me alone.
3. Nobody wants to sing the Wheels on The Bus Go Round and Round with me? Seriously, I love singing this song.
Tonight was Chandler’s second birthday. He doesn’t have a lot of birthdays to compare it to, but he thinks it was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!!!!
Sunday we had Baseball themed birthday party and invited over a bunch of friends. There were a handful kids there and they all did a great job of playing near each other. Chandler loved all the company and went bounding from group to group to show off his jumps, kicks and other assorted feats of athleticism.
Finally it was time for some cake and to sing Happy Birthday. If you don’t remember the result of last year’s birthday song, here’s a reminder.
Last year, as everyone gathered around and sang happy birthday, it was as if Chandler thought his time on this planet was done and they were “singing him out.” He really didn’t like it.
Here’s the result of this year’s birthday song.
Ashley did a great job of preparing Chandler for this year. They read dozens of birthday books, talked about birthdays for weeks, and sang the birthday song over and over. Chandler was prepared, and he loved it.
Now the big guy is two years old. Everyone that hears that loves to say, “Oh! The ‘Terrible Twos’. Have fun with that!” Or “Uh oh, it’s about to get terrible.”
You want to see a terrible two? How about my terrible two fingers poking your eyes out!
I don’t believe for a second that this has to be any tougher than any age.
What’s that sound? It sounds like more experienced parents laughing at me. Well, go ahead! Laugh all you want. But I’m sticking to my guns.
The other day, I asked you guys if I was crazy for thinking that Chandler’s twos won’t be terrible. Here is what some of you said.
Hmm…that’s not very reassuring.
Okay…I’m sensing a theme….
Thanks, Sam. Helpful as always.
Well at least I have that going for me.
I don’t want to build my skills! I just want to play Xbox!
Boarding school. Do they have boarding school for two-year-olds?
Phew…that’s the reassurance I needed. Wait…communication tools? Like Rosetta Stone?
Thanks for all your input, guys! Tomorrow we officially start year 3. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.
