Improvising Fatherhood

Neil Crone's hilarious collection of poems for big and little kids.

Tue, 29 May 2012 22:47:44 -0700

Neil Crone's hilarious collection of poems for big and little kids.:

This just in

Tue, 29 May 2012 12:12:01 -0700

I have just received a report from my wife that Chandler just called her a “Scurvy Dog.” Details at 11.

Weird questions..what car seat is your son using? I can see that it is a Britax and he is still sitting rear facing even though he is 3 (Good for you!). I live in the land of Britaxs (Sweden) but spend every summer in the U.S. and have been trying to find an American Britax model that will allow my little minions to sit rear facing as long as possible.

Tue, 29 May 2012 08:57:11 -0700

We are using the Britax Marathon. And yeah, Chandler is still rear facing. Mainly because I think “rear facing” is a hilarious term. We’re going to have to turn him around pretty soon though. He’s starting to get pretty well acquainted with his knee caps.

Chandler: Singer/Songwriter

Tue, 29 May 2012 08:42:46 -0700

This morning my wife listened to my son through the baby monitor as he made up a song about all the things he can’t pee on.

“I can’t pee on the clock. I can’t pee on the birdies…”

He better have included Daddy’s iPhone in that list.

"Is it considered poor form to use the phrase “impending baby”?"

Mon, 28 May 2012 23:37:52 -0700

“Is it considered poor form to use the phrase “impending baby”?”

Photo

Sun, 27 May 2012 14:51:39 -0700

Democracy and the Free Market

Sat, 26 May 2012 11:06:09 -0700

While dancing in the back seat, Chandler demanded that I stop. I informed him that this was not the United Republic of Chandler and that I was free to do what I want.

I told him this was a democracy and that we would vote to see if I should stop dancing. The vote was 2 to 1 that I could keep dancing.

Chandler still demanded that I stop, so I taught him that we also live in a capitalist free market and that he could pay me to stop dancing. He handed me some imaginary money.

My son paid me to stop dancing. I’m sure this won’t be the last time.

We take potty training seriously.

Fri, 25 May 2012 18:36:59 -0700

We take potty training seriously.

Why do I even try?

Wed, 23 May 2012 20:25:47 -0700

We keep a bottle of water in Chandler’s crib in case he gets thirsty at night. He usually asks us to get fresh water by saying, “I want some more water please.” Tonight he asked and I picked up the bottle and noticed it was still full from the night before. I didn’t feel like going to get more water so I said, “Oh, I already filled it up for you tonight.” I handed it back to him, and he looked at me like I was an idiot for even trying to trick him. He took a swig of water, all the while maintaining eye contact, and then handed it back to me.

“I want some more water please.”

Can’t get anything by this kid.

A report from my wife this morning

Wed, 23 May 2012 08:13:04 -0700

I was about to take C’s overnight diaper off and put his underwear on and he said, “wait I’m peeing.” So as we sat there waiting for a minute he goes, “I’m not getting M&Ms for that one!”

Every time I take out my camera Chandler turns his head like...

Thu, 17 May 2012 10:58:00 -0700

Every time I take out my camera Chandler turns his head like this picture on the top left. You can see by the little smirk on his face that he thinks it is funny. But then I trick him by saying, “Want to see the picture I took?” and when he turns to see it I take a picture. He realizes he’s been tricked and then he doesn’t think it’s so funny.

My son is not even 3 years old and he is messing with me. But until he has a blog of his own, I will always have the last laugh.

bestnatesmithever: Vader and Stark (Taken with instagram)

Wed, 09 May 2012 13:57:32 -0700

bestnatesmithever:

Vader and Stark (Taken with instagram)

I love your blog so much. I have an 8 month old son (almost 9 now) and reading your blog makes me so excited to see what he'll be like as he gets older.

Mon, 07 May 2012 08:37:18 -0700

Thank you! You’ll be amazed to discover that your child is actually a human being full of his own opinions and thoughts about the world. Things that continue to blow my mind are how much detail my son notices. NOTHING escapes him. Kids live in the moment so much more than us because quite frankly they have nothing else to pay attention to.

Yesterday my son jumped into our freshly made bed, got under the covers, and pretended he was sleeping. I joined him. Then, spontaneously, he created this game where he pretended dinosaurs were going to get us and we had to jump out of the bed and run down the hallway. Then back to the bed for a few snores. Then up again to escape the dinosaurs! We did this for about 20 minutes. It was super fun.

This is the kind of activity that I could never have planned for him. This would never have happened with my guidance. When I am playing with Chandler I try not to lead him to specific activities. Instead, I try to just listen to him and follow his lead.

It’s actually a lot like performing an improv scene. Chandler is my scene partner and I let him initiate the scene. He says, “Daddy run around!” and begins running in circles. I say, “Okay!” and run around with him, and then heighten the scene by pretending I’m a monster chasing him.

Thanks again for reading IF and have fun with your son!

Family Cirque

Sun, 06 May 2012 14:42:57 -0700

Sebastien Savard is a cockroach. A violin playing cockroach. And he is a father of two.

Sebastien has been performing with Cirque Du Soleil for 10 years and is currently touring with Ovo, Cirque’s most family friendly show which plunges you into a fantastic world full of high flying bugs. I was given the chance to meet Sebastien before the show and ask him some questions about what it’s like to be be a parent in the circus.

Sebastien, originally from Quebec, Canada, began touring with Cirque as a single man. While performing in Japan he met a lady who soon became his wife. His two children were born on tour and have lived their entire lives on the road. Sebastien is required to perform a minimum of 300 shows a year, but does closer to 500.

So how does he do it? “You have to develop a routine,” he says. Sebastien admits that keeping a routine for your kids can be tough when you are traveling, but he also says that it’s important to teach your kids to have a good attitude. He says he tells his kids “This is our life. It’s normal.”

The Ovo cast has around 25 kids traveling with them at the moment and most of them are between the ages of 4 and 8. A teacher travels with the circus and the children keep a fairly normal school routine. While the school isn’t a training ground for future Cirque performers, Sebastien admits that some trampoline and gymnastics are taught during PE class because, “that’s what we happen to have available.”

It might seem like constantly traveling and performing 500 shows a year would leave very little time for family. In actuality, Sebastien spends several hours a day rehearsing and preparing for the night’s show and the rest of his day is filled with family time right up until the show. Jealous? I know I am.

If you get a chance to catch Cirque Du Soleil’s performance of Ovo, I recommend it. I spent most of the show with my jaw in my lap out of sheer disbelief at what these performers could do. I couldn’t help but imagine my last business retreat when my coworkers attempted to build a human pyramid. The contrast is staggering. Ovo is a funny and charming show that will amaze both you and your kids. Just be careful, because when they get home they might be inspired to climb the furniture and do some acrobatics.

Our faces are totally going to freeze this way.

Fri, 04 May 2012 17:42:49 -0700

Our faces are totally going to freeze this way.

I swear, when Chandler wears his Spiderman underpants, I keep...

Fri, 04 May 2012 12:23:02 -0700

I swear, when Chandler wears his Spiderman underpants, I keep hearing a “twhip” sound coming from his butt.

Something I've missed

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:01:43 -0700

As if my son hasn’t brought enough joy into my world, recently he has found yet another way to make me extremely happy.

Chandler’s batting skills are really improving and now he can hit some pretty decent ground balls off the tee. This means I get to do one of my favorite activities in the world. Fielding ground balls.

I had almost forgotten how much I love this simple pastime.When I was in grade school, my mom used to wake me up early and take me out to a nearby baseball field and hit ground balls to me for an hour before school. My dad’s batting cage business ran summer baseball camps and we played a game called eliminator where each player would stand in front of an indoor soccer goal and attempt to keep a ground ball from getting by. I loved that game more than anything.

It’s been years since I have played anything resembling real baseball. After college I played in a few recreational softball leagues, but that was years ago. Now, I get to watch as my son learns how to hit, and I get to be on the receiving end of his ground balls.

When it’s time to go in for dinner and my son whines and says, “I want to play more baseball,” I know exactly how he feels.

Potty Training Round Up

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 20:49:47 -0700

After a weekend of intensive potty training with no use of a diaper except while sleeping, I have concluded that we are not good parents. Chandler is just an incredible kid.

After 72 hours, we had 2 accidents. One #1 and one #2. In both instances though, he did his best to tell us it was coming and we were too far away from the potty.

All in all, Chandler is a Potty Pro now. He knows when he has to go, and he is quick to get into position. There were even several times when he was in his crib wearing a diaper and he called to us through the baby monitor because he had to pee and wanted to use the potty.

Maybe Potty Pro is a bit of an overstatement. I know there is still a long road ahead of us, but this was a phenomenal first weekend.

I’d like to conclude this post with a few thoughts I have about using the word “potty” as an adult. Telling your 2-year-old it’s time to use the potty feels perfectly natural. Talking to other parents that your son is using the potty seems okay, because we all acknowledge that is the word we use. But using the word “Potty” in conversation with non-parent adults is a bit awkward.

But I can’t say, “My son is learning to use the toilet.” That just doesn’t sound right. I guess I could say, “We are house training our son.” Or maybe I should just use sound effects. “We’re teaching our son how to phthvhphtvh without using a diaper.”

Well, he’s gotta earn his rent somehow.

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 18:45:50 -0700

Well, he’s gotta earn his rent somehow.

"I want to play some more basketball."

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 18:01:19 -0700

“I want to play some more basketball.”

- Words I love to hear