ABomination

So…you might think that I have too much time on my hands. I assure you that as a father with a full time job and an even fuller time passion for comedy, I don’t have a lot of spare time. Yet, I still manage to squeeze a few minutes out of my day to do things like this.

Yeah, I gave Chandler abs. It wasn’t my idea, I swear! It was his. You see, I hate to admit this, but recently Chandler has really been obsessed with the show Jersey Shore. Embarrassing, I know. But he says he can really relate to the characters and finds the plot twists fascinating.

So anyway, Chandler really liked the idea of giving his abs a name like, “The Situation.” So he made me draw these abs on him. He says they are “an approximation of his future abs.”

Of course, just like “The Situation,” Chandler wanted to name his abs. We broke out the whiteboard and had a brainstorming session that lasted all night and resulted in quite a few heated debates. We came up with a few good candidates along the way. At first Chandler wanted “The Saturation” simply because it sounded like situation, but I assured him that it really didn’t make any sense. Then he wanted “The Condition” but I didn’t like it because it was really just copying the situation but not adding a new spin on the idea. Then he came up with a pretty good one. “The Happening.” He said it would be cool because when people saw his abs they’d say, “That JUST happened!”

That was pretty good, but I came up with an even better one. After much argument, he finally agreed I was right. His abs are now named, “The Salutation” because from now on he will use his abs to meet babes. Now whenever he sees a group of cute girls, he’ll walk up to them, lift his shirt and say, “Ladies.”

Hopefully this is just a phase.