Chandler Facts
For a while now there’s been this Internet craze called “Chuck Norris Facts.” It’s losing some of it’s momentum now, but they are still funny. Chuck Norris Facts are one liner jokes about Chuck Norris that state how awesome he is. Here’s an example, “Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.” Then people started doing the same thing for Jack Bauer. “Jack Bauer refused a syringe at a blood bank. Instead, he asked for a gun and a bucket.”
These are pretty entertaining, but they got me thinking, something I prefer not to do, Chandler is pretty awesome too. So I’ve come up with my own list of Chandler facts. Enjoy!
Chandler Facts
Chandler doesn’t breastfeed. He breast pillages.
Chandler doesn’t go to bed because he’s tired. He goes to bed because YOU’RE tired.
When Chandler gets in the bath, his skin doesn’t get wet. The water gets dryer.
Chandler doesn’t climb stairs. He pulls the stairs below him.
Chuck Norris did a roundhouse kick on Chandler. Now Chuck Norris’ leg is mounted on Chandler’s wall.
Chandler saw a t-shirt that said “save the whales.” They’re safe now.
One day a ninja tried to sneak up on Chandler, but Chandler killed him before he woke up that morning.
Chandler was on a season of “Baby Apprentice.” When Donald Trump tried to tell Chandler he was fired, instead he said, “I quit.”
Both Jacob and Edward have chosen to be on Team Chandler.
Chandler isn’t getting bigger. The world is getting smaller.
Chandler has never bumped his head. But his head has punched a lot of things.
Chandler was recently interrogated by Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer ended up telling him everything.
Chandler doesn’t join gangs. They join him.
After meeting Chandler, Obama changed his slogan to “Yes we Chan.”
Want to play along? Add your own Chandler Fact in the comments section.
