Stick it to the Man

Today’s question for Father Knows Best? is from an anonymous donor. They ask:

So…be honest. Have you given him mountain dew and does he like it?

Oh I see what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to get me in trouble with the authorities. Nice try! 

I honestly can say I have not given Chandler any Mt Dew yet. I’m not sure the world is prepared for a highly caffeinated Chandler Smith. Certain defense systems will need to be put in place before my son is allowed to consume a dose of Dew. I mean would you offer the Incredible Hulk a Red Bull? No, because that’d be stupid. “You won’t like me when I’m energized!”

In reality I don’t really believe in the whole idea that drinks like Mt. Dew will make you hyper. I pretty much have a steady stream of Mt. Dew going through my system and yet most people’s first impression of me is that I am a pretty quiet guy. Regardless, I haven’t given Chandler any unapproved beverages yet.

I can’t say the same thing for my wife. Little miss “I’ve read every parenting book on the planet and know what you should and shouldn’t feed your child” has started breaking her own rules. Apparently while Mt. Dew is forbidden fruit, a dab of Chocolate Slim Fast is A-Okay. Every now and then she’ll give him a little taste and what do you know? He loves it! Now when he sees the can of Slim Fast he can barely contain himself. Imagine that. He likes chocolate! Not butternut squash. Not avocado. Chocolate. 

I think the reason he likes it is because he knows it will help him keep his trim figure. I’m really proud of the boy for sticking to his guns, rejecting anything that is vegetable-like, and accepting only chocolate based treats. Stick it to the man, Chandler! And in our house, Mommy is The Man.

PS. The Man would like me to emphasize that he does not actually get chocolate treats…except for the occasional dab of Slim Fast.