Fatherhood: This thing is forever

Today’s edition of Father Knows Best? coincides nicely with a post that I have been trying to write for a while. So thank you very much to Sarah, for submitting the following question.

Love the blog :) I just wanted to know, what do you think has been the single biggest change in your life since becoming a father? (Apart from the small person who seems to follow you around for most of the day, of course.)

Thanks Sarah, and great question.

Early on in my career as a father I had this revelation, and recently when I received an email from my father about my recent trip to the dentist, I was reminded of the fact that fatherhood is forever. FOREVER.

I think the first time I thought of this was after a day or so of having Chandler and realizing there was never going to be any “downtime” anymore. I remember I started mapping out the next few days in my mind trying to figure out where the next break would be. There wasn’t one.

My mind continued down the path envisioning weeks, months, and years ahead. And it dawned on me. This whole fatherhood thing is never going to end.

Ashley and I have already agreed that we are going to firmly nudge our little baby bird out of the nest when he’s 18. But even then, as evidenced by my father’s recent email, it’s never really over.

From a writer’s perspective I thought, “Jackpot!” I’ve got a constant flow of material to write. But as a guy who likes his free time every once and a while, I thought, “Gulp.”

It’s not that I don’t love all the time I spend with Chandler. And I am definitely looking forward to our life together. But who in their right mind says, “You know what I’d like to do? I’d like to spend the next 10 years or so constantly watching over someone else. I’d like to never have a moment to myself again.”

That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but when you’re a parent it doesn’t feel like one. You see, having a kid is like getting a tattoo. It hurts when you first get it, but you want to show it to everyone. At first you are so excited about it that you just can’t stop looking at it. But then one day as you are staring at it you realize, “I am going to have this forever.” And children are even harder to remove than tattoos, because people will judge you. Also, as you get older that tattoo becomes less and less cute.

The thing is, that tattoo might be kind of embarrassing in certain situations (after all, it’s unicorn being ridden by a shirtless gnome, right?) but that tattoo will carry a lot of great memories. Even though you joke about having it removed, you never will. In fact, you’re thinking of getting another one to go with it.

So, to answer your question, the biggest change in my life has been that I’m getting a tattoo of a shirtless gnome riding a unicorn. Don’t tell my wife.