Dad, I don’t want to be your friend on Facebook

It’s actually pretty naive to think Facebook will still be the cool thing to do when Chandler is a teenager. It’s also foolish to think that Chandler won’t be socially networking on the internets before his age hits double digits. Heck, will the internet as we know it even exist or will there be some sort of amazing new technology wired directly into our brains?

Whatever it is we are using in the next decade, you can be sure there will be some sort of Facebook style system where all the kids post their statuses, photos, and play Farmville. For the sake of this article let’s assume Facebook lasts another 10 years. So my question is, will it be as uncool for me to “friend” Chandler on Facebook then as it is when my parents “friend” me on Facebook now?

My parents’ generation didn’t grow up with terms like “online”, or “status update”, or “poke.” When my parents were in college social networking meant hanging out in the “quad.” So naturally when our technologically inept mothers and fathers show up on our friend request list it can be a little scary. All sorts of questions creep into our thought. Aren’t these the same people who couldn’t figure out how to use the “clicker” to the new TV and still refer to the internet as the “The Google”?

It just feels unnatural for our parents to be on Facebook. It’s like seeing monkeys drive cars, dogs wear sweaters, or white people say “fo shizzle.” (God forbid they add “my nizzle” at the end) But for my generation I think it will be different.

We grew up with the internet. I remember when AOL was the gold standard in online connectivity. I remember how hard it was to pick my very first screen name ever. And since then I have been on the cutting edge of technology. I’m into all the apps. I blog, I tweet, I phone…iPhone. I have an intricately woven system for simultaneously updating all my statuses.

I even assume I’ll help Chandler set up his first online profile someday. It’s hard for me to imagine that I’ll get behind on the technology that our kids end up using. But then Chandler will go to school and his friends will show him something new and cool that I’ve never heard of. He’ll come home and I’ll innocently look over his shoulder to see what he’s doing and ask, “What’s that?” He’ll quickly cover it up and say, “Nothing Dad! Geez! You just don’t get it!”

I am putting this challenge out there for myself right now. I challenge myself to always “get it.” I remember when I was a kid, before the internets arrived, my dad got me a Tandy 64k Colour Computer 2. It wasn’t good for much, but we had this baseball game on it that we loved to play together. At first Dad could always beat me. But as I played more and more I got better than him. I have this extremely vivid image of waking up in the middle of the night. The room was pitch black. I looked down past the foot of my bed to see a silhouette of my father against the glorious glow of the Tandy 2. He was practicing. I got up and asked him what he was doing. Even though it was 2am, he let me play. I beat him handily and he made me go back to bed.

That’s the kind of dedication I want to have with my children and their technology.

And now, mainly for my father’s viewing pleasure, here’s an image of that baseball game, which was simply titled “Color Baseball.” Thank you Google.

UPDATE: My father called me after reading this article and told me he distinctly remembered that night of playing Color Baseball at 2am. He said I trounced him so horribly and that was the night he gave up on technology.