I knew having a child was a good idea
Yesterday, as I pulled into my garage after a hard day at work, I was greeted by the best thing in the world. My son. But not JUST my son. My son bringing a Mt Dew to me.
I couldn’t believe it. And you might think it was just Mommy putting him up to it. But he did it on his own volition. It actually wasn’t the first time he had gotten a Mt Dew for me. A few days earlier he got into our pantry, as he loves to do, and he found my reserves. He grabbed a can of Dew and immediately knew who it belonged to. He very proudly walked it right over to me.
It made so happy, it felt like that scene in “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” when his heart grew three times bigger. So flash forward a few days, I arrive home after an infuriating drive through rush hour traffic, and what do my eyes see before me? My son standing at the door with yet another can of Mt Dew.
According to my wife, about half an hour before I got home she mentioned that I was on my way home and Chandler’s response was to grab one of the warm Mt Dews out of the pantry. My wife swapped it out with a cold one and told him to put it by the garage door. When he heard the garage door opening (which his ears happen to be very attuned to, by the way) he rushed over to my now colder-than-pantry-warmer-than-fridge Mt Dew.
I really can’t think of a better reason to have a child. Years ago I discovered that my wife will not go get me a Mt Dew from the fridge for me. Apparently she’s got this whole belief in gender equality. Weird. So when I realized that, I decided my next best bet was to have a kid with her and then train that kid to get me Mt Dews at the snap of a finger. I thought it was too early to start training Chandler for his life of servitude, you know, considering he can barely take his own socks off. But I guess I underestimated him.
Now his real training will begin. I will have to make him run circuits back and forth between the couch and fridge. I’ll set up cones and other obstacles to make sure he knows how to adapt his route, and I will make him do one-armed pushups. The one-armed pushups don’t really have anything to do with bringing me Mt Dews, but they are cool.
What cool tricks can your kid do?
