Hey all you lazy parents! Stop holding my child back!
I’ve got a beef with a lot you people out there. Usually I’m pretty happy go lucky here. I don’t use my angry voice very much. But I’ve really had it with you people.
Chandler is really close to crawling. He can roll over in his sleep (that’s not just a figure of speech. He sometimes does that) and then he gets up on his hands and knees and he is oh so close to being mobile. I for one think this is great. I am so excited for him.
But there are a lot of Negative Nancys and Donald Downers out there who want to hold my child back. They say things like, “Are you sure you want Chandler to be able to crawl already?” Or they say, “Oh man, once he can crawl you better look out!” Or even, “You have to learn to crawl before you learn to walk.” Okay, that last one is not so bad.
The point is I keep running into people who seem to think I should sabotage my child’s progress. And for what? So that I don’t have to work as hard as a parent.
LAZY!
It is this kind of lazy parenting that is ruining our society. We can’t be bothered to play catch with our son for a few minutes after work so he never learns to throw. Or we don’t take an interest in our daughter’s dance routine and then one day it involves a pole. Or we just need to run in to the grocery store real quick and don’t want to worry about taking little Billy out of the car seat and then…(gulp)
I hate this “do as little as possible” mentality we take with our children. Yeah, I realize that even when we do as little as possible with our children they are still A LOT of friggin’ work. But that’s why I’ve decided to do even more. I don’t hope he takes longer to crawl just so he’ll be easier to handle. I am busting my ass to get him to be so amazing that I couldn’t stop him if I wanted to. I’m not just encouraging him to crawl. I’m training him.
Now before you start to think, “Man this guy really thinks highly of himself,” just stop right there. I don’t think I’m a great dad. I bump my kid’s head at least three times a day. I turn on bloody action flicks and love it when he stares at them with a dazed look in his eye. I let him struggle and cry on the floor while I check Facebook way longer than I should and chalk it up to “making him tougher.” And someday soon I’ll be sneaking Mt. Dew into his sippy cup.
I’m not the perfect dad. In fact my parenting career can be compared to my career as a basketball player. I had almost no skills but I made up for it with hustle. But if you ask me, that’s the most important thing a dad can do. Hustle. Don’t be lazy. And someday very soon my kid will be crawling circles around your kid.
