Chandler's First Press Conference

Chandler Smith has just had an amazing day. He spent the entire day driving around with his dad. He was asked to address the press on how he was able to pull off such an amazing victory.
Chandler: Thank you all for coming out today. I know you have a lot of questions but first I'd like to make a statement. I want to start by giving thanks to God. I also want to thank all my loyal fans who believed in me. Okay, I'll open it up to questions.
The Oregonian: Chandler! How did you prepare for the challenge you had today?
Chandler: Good question. I just got back from a 23 hour road trip in a 15 passenger van with 6 adults. After that debacle I feel like I can take on anything.
Willamette Week: Chandler, it seemed like your opponent was really bringing it today. Can you comment on your opponent's performance?
Chandler: Yeah, definitely. Dad was really on fire. When we first got in the car I thought this was going to be a cake walk. But 30 minutes later I was like, "Where the F is this guy going?" He was really in the zone.
The Mercury: Your dad seemed to be pulling some cheap shots. How did that affect your game?
Chandler: Well he took me on three different errands, while I was sleeping, no less. One of those stops was the DMV. But I think we can expect to see a lot more of this type of thing in the future. Of course he didn't feed me for like an hour longer than normal. Is that a cheap shot? Maybe. But look, I can't make excuses. If I complain about his dirty tactics I'm just letting him get to me. I have to rise above.
The Asian Times: Chandler, how are you going to prepare for your next match against your father?
Chandler: Well I plan on bumping my head against things quite a bit...because my dad tends to do that. And I'm taking an online course called "how to break out of car when your dad forgets you." Okay, thank you. I gotta poop.