Check out my sweet new ride. Mom and Dad say that Parker gave it to me, because apparently they think I’m a chump. But I’m playing along. It makes them happy. And if they think I believe them, then that’s just one more source to receive gifts from.
Oh, my helmet? Yeah, it’s got Spider-Man on it. Pretty Bad A if you ask me. I don’t know what “Bad A” means, but Dad says it all the time.
It took a little while to get the hang of it. Dad kept crowding me, though. I was all like, “Back off old man.” You know? I need some space. I can’t have him looming over me while I’m working on my moves. It just doesn’t look cool.
Recently Chandler has been asking me to back off a lot. He’ll be out in the neighborhood riding his tricycle, or his new scooter (which Parker gave him as a gift), and I’ll be following him around to make sure he’s okay. Suddenly he’ll turn to me, hold his hand up, and say, “Will you not come with me please?”
Is this happening already? Is my son already pushing me out of his life? Am I already that uncool?