Dear Womb…

Yesterday as I was cleaning up around the house (okay now you know I’m making this up) I found a piece of paper with the following letter written on it.

Dear Womb,

How are you doing? It’s been 17 days since we were last together. I miss you. Don’t get me wrong, I love it out here, for the most part. But it’s not quite the same without you. First of all it’s a lot colder out here! The big people try to keep me covered as much as they can but every now and then they’ll uncover me and it gets friggin’ freezin’ out here!

I will say this, there is a heck of a lot more things to do out here. No offense, but you didn’t offer a lot of entertainment. But out here there’s tons of colorful blobs to look at! Pretty much everything is a big colorful blob, unless I get really close. But the colors are pretty! I mean…(cough)…cool.

They’re cool.  So things have really changed. You look good. Looks like you’ve lost some weight. Me on the other hand, I’m gaining weight. It’s basically an all you can eat buffet out here. I just raise a fuss and BAM, there’s food in my face.

Well, have a good day. I hope to hear from you soon, and maybe I could come visit you sometime. Who knows.
Love,

Chandler