Are you excited?

So one of the toughest things any new set of parents will deal with when preparing for their newborn child is the constant barrage of annoying questions. The most common and most ridiculous question we hear is, “So, are you excited?”

Well, let’s see…how many different ways can I answer this? My wife is about to give life to a brand new child. It’s our first child. We’ve been waiting for this for at least 9 months, but really we’ve been waiting for several years.

So the answer is…no. We’re not excited at all. This whole baby thing is BORING. Maybe if the baby was an iPhone or some other iProduct. I mean, is this baby going to have full multi-touch controls? Or will it dispense Mt. Dew? Yeah, this baby is no big deal people. Just another day in baby land. No biggie.

Okay, that was sarcasm. HECK YES WE’RE EXCITED! We’re having a friggin’ baby! A little miniature version of us (hopefully more Ashley than me) is going to pop out of my wife (okay the popping out part isn’t the most exciting element) and then it will grow and gain new skills and learn to talk and one day it will start sassing us! We can’t wait!

We’re so excited we’ve been trying to force it to come out. Now whenever Ashley walks somewhere she does lunges. It takes longer to get there, but it’s increasing her chances of dropping that baby like it’s hot.

So yes people! A big sweeping yes to all of you. We are excited. Stop asking. M’kay?