My father is an idiot: By Chandler Smith

So…I don’t know about you but I don’t read my dad’s blog very much. It’s not that I don’t think it’s a good blog. It’s fine I guess. I just prefer the New York Times. But the other day I was doing a quick review of my dad’s posts to make sure he doesn’t say anything stupid…and what do you know? He did!

His last post, titled “Do you know where your child is?”, was actually a guest post for Many Sleepless Nights, a blog by some other kid’s mommy. The entire post hinged on a joke about “Child Opacity.” I guess my dad thought that was funny because it sounded like Child Obesity. He’s kind of simple.

Anyway, the entire premise of the joke is flawed. He droned on and on about how kids are becoming more opaque and as a result disappearing.

Ahem…the definition of opaque as seen on thefreedictionary.com

1. not transmitting light; not transparent or translucent

Of course if Dad doesn’t know what opaque means, he might not know what transparent or translucent mean. Well here’s some other definitions of opaque that might be more fitting.

4. hard to understand; unintelligible

5. unintelligent; dense

C’mon Dad, you couldn’t have taken a moment to look it up? The dictionary was free for cryin’ out loud.

Citizens of the blogosphere, I apologize for my father. He is a dolt. You should really reconsider reading this blog. Alright, I’ve gotta go poop my diaper.