What is Improvising Fatherhood?

I have to start this post by apologizing to two people. First to the anonymous person who submitted a question about what Chandler’s favorite toys are, and second to fellow Tumblr-er nicodemehedo who says IF “has kind of stopped being a parenting blog.”

First things first. An anonymous inquisitor asked

Does Chandler like the tent/tunnel/balls thing that you got him? I’m thinking of getting one for my daughter’s 1st birthday. If not, what are some of his favorite toys?

Chandler does like the Ball Tent quite a bit. He specifically likes sitting in the middle of the balls and having them pushed all around him by Mom or Dad. Also, for a while we took the Tent down and just left the tunnel sitting out in the middle of our kitchen. Every now and then he would tumble on through it as if he had decided to take the scenic route.

Another one of Chandler’s favorite toys right now is his blue car. He LOVES cruising for chicks in it. Other than that, Chandler is generally enamored with any toy that makes noise, and just about anything that has a tag on it. He loves tags.

Chandler also likes playing with Mommy’s face. Lately he has been doing this thing where he will grab her face and make her look at him, and then release her and go about his business. So if you don’t have a face, I highly recommend getting one. (If you actually don’t have a face, I am REALLY sorry for that crass joke.)

If you are thinking about getting the Ball Tent for your daughter’s 1st birthday, I support that decision. Also, do you have entertainment for her 1st birthday? If not I’ve got another recommendation to make.

Hope that answers your question.

Okay, now on to the second issue at hand. Today I saw that my recent post of a picture of Chandler on a dog leash was re-blogged by nicodemehedo. My first thought was, “Yay!” In Tumblr-ville a re-blogging someone’s post is a sign of affection. Then I read the comment on the re-blog.

Putting a leash on your child isn’t parenting. This has kind of stopped being a parenting blog.

So my second thought was, “Huh?” I can’t tell if this blogger is being serious or if they are being playful or something else. But since their blog doesn’t give any options for commenting or contacting them, I thought I would leave my comments here.

As far as leashing your child goes, I’m against it. I actually already talked about this HERE where I say

putting your kid on a leash is really just lazy parenting. If you don’t teach your kids not to run into oncoming traffic, the day that you let your kid off the leash…BAM! Hit by a bus. And then you have to get a new kid.

But I want to address the bigger issue in nicodemehedo’s comment. Improvising Fatherhood has kind of stopped being a parenting blog. Actually, Improvising Fatherhood is not a parenting blog. It’s a blog about a parent. It’s a comedy blog.

I’m a comedian. I’m a writer. And I’m a father. When I became a father my entire perspective on life was altered. Comedians are always looking for “material” to talk about. When I became a father I suddenly had a whole new world of material to discuss. This blog is dedicated to that world.

So Improvising Fatherhood is a blog and it most often talks about parenting. Oddly enough, I know a lot of people who are not parents, and yet they love the blog too. Improvising Fatherhood is not a parenting blog. It’s a funny blog that parents can relate to.

Improvising Fatherhood is my sense of humor through the lens of being a father. I hope you like it.

UPDATE: Nicodemehedo just sent me this message.

The “This has kind of stopped being a parenting blog” comment was intended to be facetious. I’m sorry that it didn’t translate in the text. My bad. :x

Thanks Nico for your response. I’m glad to know you still like IF. And either way, I was happy to have your comment spark that post. By the way, has anyone ever told you that you write like Kurt Vonnegut? :)

Antique Blogs

I know what you’re thinking…”Oh, the guy gets 1000 followers and then he thinks he doesn’t need to write any more posts.” Well don’t worry. And stop being so snarky. I’m still here. I’d like to say the reason I haven’t posted in a few days is because I was busy thwarting an international crime ring while driving around in hot cars with fast women.

In reality the activity that has been taking my time is…reading. I don’t do it much, but when I do, it takes quite a bit of effort. You see, I’m not really a good reader. I know that’s ironic considering I’m a writer. The thing is, I love to write, but I hate to read. Just like I love to talk but I hate to listen. And I love to punch people but I hate getting punched.

So if I’m going to read something it has to really catch my attention. You know, like billboards, “caution: wet paint” signs, and Facebook. But when I was growing up I remember we had these things called books. They were sort of like blogs, except they were written with proper grammar and the authors got paid for writing them. Sounds pretty great, right? Every now and then we like to take Chandler to the library, or as I like to call it, the book museum, and tell him about the good old days when you could enjoy the satisfaction of a good book burning as opposed to the modern day version of a book deleting.

Little did I know there are still writers out there getting paid to write books, or as I like to call them, antique blogs. Recently one book in particular caught my eye. And it doesn’t even have pictures!

“Your Name Here: A Guide to Life (The Book You’d Have Written if only You’d Had the Time” is written by Michael Rosenbaum, the Dadblogger at www.5minutesforparenting.com, and is a delightful bag of snack sized lessons for life. Each lesson is tastier than the last one and much like a box of Wheat Thins, you keep thinking you are going to put it down and yet you just keep munching away until the next thing you know you are full of really good advice.

I have to admit, this is definitely the kind of book I would have written if only I had the time. Rosenbaum has a great sense of humor and a very light hearted approach to a very serious topic: your life.

Rosenbaum is a smart guy. He’s smart enough to know that he doesn’t know it all. So his book is a compilation of insights gathered from everyday people he’s been meeting…well…everyday. What’s really nice about it is I can put it down momentarily to fend off an attack from my little C-Rex and then pick it up later, flip to anywhere in the book, and get something great out of it.

At the beginning of the book Rosenbaum encourages the readers to share their own stories of life lessons they’ve learned by going to www.yournamehereguide.com. If he ends up using your story in the next volume of his book he’ll give you $100! That could buy you like 100 things at the $1 Store!

I don’t have $100 to give you but I do have an extra copy of the book that the author gave me. Want it? All you have to do is share with me a story about being a parent that has taught you a life lesson and I’ll pick my favorite one. Post your story in the comments field below. And don’t forget to check out Rosenbaum’s site.

Improvising Lullabies

This is a variation of the lullaby I often sing to Chandler as I put him to sleep. After a few verses it turns into a rhyming game and I always end up coming up with something new.

Chandler Chandler, it’s time to sleep.

Chandler Chandler, don’t make a peep.

Chandler Chandler, it’s time for bed.

Chandler Chandler, rest your little head.

Chandler Chandler, it’s time to nap.

Chandler Chandler, don’t take a crap. 

Chandler Chandler, Daddy loves you.

Chandler Chandler, Big League Chew.

Chandler Chandler, have a sweet dream.

Chandler Chandler, apply some foot cream.

Chandler Chandler, let’s be friends.

Chandler Chandler, pay me dividends. 

And it just goes on like that until I get him ready for his nap. This lullaby is severely lacking in the lull department, but mommy always likes hearing what new verses I come up with.