Today Chandler insisted on peeing on the potty standing up.

We asked him who else pees on the potty standing up, and he said, “Grandma.” Then it got real quiet and awkward.

Anonymous asked: hey man great job. you seem to be a really good dad and that makes me happy. my friends tell me i dress like a dad and have dad hair and remind me of their dads. i'm 21. some people are just born to be dads. we are the 1%.

Thanks dude! I was about to write some silly response to this, but then it reminded me that when I was a kid I watched the Bill Cosby show a lot. I loved Bill Cosby and loved watching him be a great father. I have actually used the quote, “Come here. Here is here and there is there. Come…HERE,” on my son several times. If you don’t know that quote you aren’t watching enough Nick at Nite.

I realize now that I didn’t just admire Bill Cosby for how funny he was. I also admired him for how good of a father he was.

Cool

Chandler: Mommy, what are you doing on the phone?

Ashley: I’m making dinner reservations for Chinese for Sat night.

Chandler: Oh. That’s cool!

Grandma: Chandler, you’re cool!

Chandler: No. Papa’s cool!

Never again (except for every day from now on)

This morning I made a break from my normal routine of leaving the house at an ungodly hour and instead got to greet Chandler as he woke up. It was fun to see him, but then as I told him I had to go to work, he took my hand and said, “No Daddy, stay.”

Little jerk.

How am I supposed to leave after that? This was especially endearing because it came from the kid who usually gives me an elbow to the jugular when I lean in for a hug. 

I was pretty close to calling in sick. “Yeah…looks like I’ll be sick for the next few years. Yeah, just until my son stops being so darned cute. Thanks for understanding.”

I’ve wasted so much time

Tonight I realized that I could probably teach Chandler to say, “That’s what she said,” constantly and the probability of him saying it at an appropriate time would be very high while the hilarity of the statement would be heightened by the fact that he’s an adorable two-year-old.

Conflicted

I am often caught between my desire for Chandler to speak correctly and how unbelievably adorable it is when he says things like, “I otay!”

Things Chandler did today that made my jaw drop

I don’t want this blog to turn into brag blog (or a brlaog…as the kids are calling them these days) but recently Chandler has been blowing my mind. He’s at a stage where every other thing he does makes me go

After posting this short list I’ll go back to writing about my struggles as a father.

First of all, just the other day, almost over night, Chandler went from barely being able to put two words together to being able to give George W Bush a run for his money in a debate (let’s not make this political. Republican or not, you have to admit that guy doesn’t talk so good). So Chandler’s newfound speaking skills have been knocking my socks off. 

Things he said or did today:

1. I asked Chandler to clean up the three puzzles he had spilled to the ground before playing with another toy. Not only did he say, “Okay,” he put every piece back in each puzzle and then stacked all three puzzles back on the shelf where he got them. He then proceeded to play with the next toy.

2. After spotting a Kermit the Frog lunch box in a store, he asked, “Take it home?” I told him we couldn’t take it home and he said, “I’ll buy it.” WHAT? Where did he learn that? And wait…does he have a job? Is he holding out on us?

3. After dinner at Fuddruckers (swanky!) we were getting back into the car and out of the blue, without being prompted at all, Chandler says, “Thank you for dinner, Mommy.” 

Demanding

Sitting in his car seat as we drive to a pizza restaurant, Chandler listens to our conversation about our pizza order. Suddenly Chandler reaches up and grabs my shirt, pulls me forward, and says, “I want pizza!” Then he pushed me back.

Okay, duly noted.