July 2010
22 posts
“Mommy says I’m not allowed to use expletives when describing how cute my...”
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Watch your step
As I walk through my living room I feel as though I am behind enemy lines. Take one wrong step and you hear the subtle crack of a cheerio crushing beneath your heel. Brush against a toy as you pass and an annoyingly chipper musical alarm is set off. Set down your iPhone and turn your back for a second and it is whisked away by tiny ninja hands. My 11 month old son has booby trapped my entire...
“I have the strangest sensation today. I feel…rested.”
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A study shows that 1 out of 1 Chandler Smiths...
It’s pretty amazing to watch a living organism evolve right before your eyes. I know this because I have played the game Spore. But also I know this because this week Chandler made the official switch from crawling to walking.
He’s been experimenting with the upright mode of transportation for a few weeks now. He got to a point where he could definitely take steps, but walking still...
Something else that is funny →
Hey Tumblr followers, I would appreciate it if you would also follow my natesmithcomedy.com Tumblr. It’s a site where I mostly just post one liners (these days known as “status updates”). But don’t worry it won’t flood your dashboard. Although, on days I don’t manage to update here at IF, there’s a good chance I posted a little something at...
“My baby is a tech nerd.”
“As I walked around at work yesterday, something weird happened. I didn’t...”
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What is Improvising Fatherhood?
I have to start this post by apologizing to two people. First to the anonymous person who submitted a question about what Chandler’s favorite toys are, and second to fellow Tumblr-er nicodemehedo who says IF “has kind of stopped being a parenting blog.”
First things first. An anonymous inquisitor asked
Does Chandler like the tent/tunnel/balls thing that you got him? I’m ...
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Antique Blogs
I know what you’re thinking…”Oh, the guy gets 1000 followers and then he thinks he doesn’t need to write any more posts.” Well don’t worry. And stop being so snarky. I’m still here. I’d like to say the reason I haven’t posted in a few days is because I was busy thwarting an international crime ring while driving around in hot cars with fast...
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Improvising Lullabies
This is a variation of the lullaby I often sing to Chandler as I put him to sleep. After a few verses it turns into a rhyming game and I always end up coming up with something new.
Chandler Chandler, it’s time to sleep.
Chandler Chandler, don’t make a peep.
Chandler Chandler, it’s time for bed.
Chandler Chandler, rest your little head.
Chandler Chandler, it’s time to...
“Somehow my son got glitter on his face and now he’s acting like a real...”
“I called Chandler a “smarty pants” but that’s not accurate....”
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Preparing for the 1st Birthday
Chandler is ten months old now, which means he’s only two months away from his first birthday. I know this because I looked it up. On a calendar. They say you can never have another first birthday. This a stupid saying, because you can’t have any of your other birthdays more than once either. But nevertheless, we want to make sure Chandler’s first birthday is one he never forgets. I can’t even...
“Today Chandler has taken more steps than a celebrity going through rehab.”
“I’ve decided the best way to teach my son to walk is to set up a miniature...”
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A night on our own
For the first time since Chandler was born, Ashley and I spent a night away from him. It was our six year anniversary and as a gift, Ashley’s parents gave us vouchers for a casino they had because they are Portland Trailblazer season ticket holders (GO BLAZERS!). So for our big night away from our baby, we stayed at the Spirit Mountain Casino, got $50 to play the slots with, and $75 to spend...
June 2010
34 posts
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“My son keeps taking steps when I’m not around! What an A-hole!”
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“You know that you’re a mom when: 1. You reach a new level of multi-tasking...”
– My wife’s latest Facebook status. I married her because she makes me laugh.
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Picture Perfect
Back in March Ashley and I took Chandler for a professional photo shoot at Studio Christy. You’ll also notice there’s an ad on the right sidebar of the site. That’s because Studio Christy, owned by Christy Rimrodt is so awesome her last name should be RimRADt.
This week we had our second session with Christy. Last time Chandler was a bit of a diva. He was crying a bunch and...
“I just changed Chandler’s diaper and there was a wet wipe already in there....”
– Author’s note: this joke is poking fun at my mother-in-law who takes care of our son for us all the time and today was watching Chandler for us while we went to see a movie, and she got peed on. She deserves more gratitude than this joke gives her.
“Being a parent is kind of like having some young hot shot get hired as your new...”
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Best night ever!
Tonight was the best night I’ve had with Chandler. Ever. A while back I posted about the very first time I made Chandler laugh and how much I loved that. Well tonight I had Chandler laughing for about 10 minutes all together.
It started with a simple game of peek-a-boo where Chandler pulls open the shower curtain and peeks out at me. It’s gotten to the point where the anticipation of...
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“Father’s Day is that time of year when a committee decides which father...”
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“Being a parent is like playing the world’s longest game of whack-a-mole.”
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What's your parenting type?
It’s time for another edition of Father Knows Best? Today’s question comes from Reeyah, who asked:
“i just finished watching that video of you putting up that tent and wanted to say chandler’s really adorable and that you have a beautiful family. :) as for a question… um, how would you describe yourself as a parent? (i hope this has not been asked before)”
...
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“My son is playing red light green light with Mom’s breast milk.”
“My son is watching baby sign language videos. I taught him the sign for...”
“I absolutely LOVE the feeling of setting my son down firmly on his feet and...”
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Out like a light
I think someone drugged my baby! I’ve never seen Chandler fall asleep while I was poking his face. It was insane. We were driving home from lunch after church and were going to go to Gymboree. Chandler was sitting quietly in his car seat when all of a sudden I noticed he was drifting off. We didn’t want him to fall asleep. It didn’t fit into our very precisely planned schedule....
“My son has poor motor skills but great motorboating skills.”
“One of the annoying things about my son is he doesn’t get pop culture...”
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May Improvising Fatherhood Photo Contest Winners
Improvising Fatherhood May Photo Contest Okay, the results are in and it’s time to reveal the winners of the May Improvising Fatherhood Photo Contest. As you might remember I am but a humble blogger and have no great prize to give away this month and so what I am offering is my comedic writing skills to the winners. Apparently that offer holds even less value than I thought because this time only...
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Where have all the Daycare Cowboys Gone?
Okay, today’s post is joining in on a blogversation going on between Me Turned Mom and The Daddy Complex. The topic: Men in the childcare industry. Me Turned Mom started the conversation when she was taken aback by seeing a male working at a day care center. She realized she never sees men working in childcare and wondered why not. The Daddy Complex entered the ring when Me Turned Mom posed...
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ABomination
So…you might think that I have too much time on my hands. I assure you that as a father with a full time job and an even fuller time passion for comedy, I don’t have a lot of spare time. Yet, I still manage to squeeze a few minutes out of my day to do things like this.
Yeah, I gave Chandler abs. It wasn’t my idea, I swear! It was his. You see, I hate to admit this, but...
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