Parenting tip

The games you play with your kids don’t have to make sense. Just listen and respond. And use funny voices.

When we put our kids in time out we really wish we were putting ourselves in time out.

Parker’s abilities on the stairs are like my abilities on the dance floor. He can get up, but he can’t really get down.

Mothers’ Day Post

I have multiple mothers to appreciate today, so I changed it from the possessive Mother’s Day to the plural possessive Mothers’ Day. Not sure that grammatically makes sense, but I’m going with it.

Let’s start with the mother of my house, my wife, Ashley. First of all, without her this blog would not have happened. It was her idea for me to start this. Also…she gave birth to the children, so there’s that whole ball of wax.

Ashley is so fantastic I have a hard time knowing where to begin. She brings order and sanity to a chaotic household of boys all running around playing Ninja Turtles and Avengers. She keeps us fed, bathed, and clothed. She’s extremely patient with us when we throw temper tantrums. And she gives great hugs. 

And for the last 6 weeks in a row, I have been able to get out of the house on a Saturday night and perform live improv comedy. This means that not only has she had to put the boys to bed without me on these nights, but while I was out galavanting around onstage, she’s had to be home by herself without her best friend to keep her company. I am extremely grateful to the sacrifices my wife makes to allow me to continue performing comedy.

But Ashley isn’t doing it all on her own. My mother-in-law, puts in a lot of extra hours at our house helping with the boys. So do my father-in-law and brother-in-law, but this is a Mothers’ Day post, so they can be patient and wait for Father’s Day and…Uncle’s Day. Brooke is an amazing grandma. The boys absolutely adore her. And she’s not a lazy grandma. She does her homework. She has even memorized which Ninja Turtles are which and can tell you which weapons they all use. If spoiling your grandchildren was a contest, Brooke would be world champion. I have so much gratitude for my mother-in-law, who does so much to help my wife and I stay sane during this journey called parenthood.

And finally we come to my mother. The lady who made me. She taught me so much. One of my fondest memories is going out early in the morning before school to the nearby baseball field where she would hit ground balls to me so I could get some extra practice in. Then she would take me to McDonald’s for breakfast. And even though I don’t have a daughter, I want to pass on to my boys what my mother taught me about strong women and gender equality.

You see, my mom worked as a manager of several different businesses throughout my childhood, all of which were sports related. She managed a racquetball and fitness club, she managed an indoor soccer facility, and later on she became an Athletic Director for a private high school, which she is still doing today. In all of these jobs, she has come up against a lot of men who thought she wasn’t qualified for either the business aspect, or the sports aspect, of the jobs, purely because of her gender. But my mom never gave in to any of that. 

The thing is, I don’t really recall my mom ever talking about sexism or preaching gender equality. I just remember watching her behave as an equal. I remember her simply being better than everyone else. Not ever saying she was better than them, just performing better than them. Being so good at what she did, that nobody could hold her back due to the fact that she was a women. So to me, it was always just a given that women can do and be anything that men can. It wasn’t something I needed to be convinced of, it was just something that is. 

As much as I want my boys to grow up to be strong men, I want them to use my mom as an example of how to let your actions speak for you and to be so good no one can ever hold you back. And I want them to use my mother-in-law as an example of how to be exceedingly generous and compassionate. And I want them to use my wife as an example of patience and intelligence. 

And I want them to use me as an example of how to make really great fart sounds.

I just stepped out of my office to take an important call from home to help my wife decipher what word my son was trying to say when describing a scene from an episode of Ninja Turtles. I got it all sorted out. Now back to work.

The Dog’s Name is Sawyer

Tonight while driving to Grandma’s house we saw a man on the side of the road with a sign saying, “Got Laid Off. Anything will help.” Chandler asked about him and the sign, and I explained the man’s situation and the idea of begging.

Chandler gazed off into the distance listening very intently the whole time, and when I was done he turned to me and said, “Sawyer begs.”