When your baby pukes it is losing precious nutrients. Scoop up as much puke as possible and put it back inside your baby.
Maybe she only goes out to fight on hot days.
— My 4-yr-old discussing Wonder Woman’s outfit in comparison to Superman.
I think she’s going to find out right at the end of the book. All things that people don’t know are found out at the end.
— Chandler while we read a book called Moose Tracks
Coors Light has a can that shows mountains when the beer is cold. My son’s diapers use a similar technology.
The reason you have more than one child is so you can make an example of one of them.
I literally just had a “when I was a kid we didn’t have iPhones or Internet” moment with my 4-yr-old. He looked at me like I am crazy.
Most of my parenting technique involves mindlessly making silly noises to keep my children entertained while I play on Twitter.
Depending on my tone, me asking my baby, “Do you want me to put you down?” is either a gentle inquiry or an angry threat.
Does anyone know the cheat code for getting your kid to stop needing you to acknowledge every single thing they say?