More penis humor…
So last night as I was putting Parker, our 1-year-old, to bed, I needed to go to the bathroom. So I had him come with me. Along the way he picked up a toy pair of binoculars. As I was peeing, he looks at me through the binoculars and says, “Dada penis.”
I was pretty insulted that he felt the need to use binoculars.
"Tears are just bad attitude being flushed."
4yo: Dad let’s have a race!
Me: Oh, can’t we play a Twitter hashtag game instead?
"I got to have a fun and tearful conversation with Chandler the other day about why he wouldn’t be able to see the new TMNT movie when it comes out. The real reason is because it is a Michael Bay production, but I kept telling him it was because he was too young."